Stand-up comedian Lachlan Patterson is a cross between Matthew McConaughey and Jeff Goldblum. When I first shook his hand I thought, that’s odd that someone so laid back and cool could have grey in his freshly unshaven facial hair.
This past week I received the opportunity from KUAC Programming Director Jerry Evans to open up for a Lachlan at the UAF Pub. I had five minutes of time on stage to tell jokes and I was remunerated with two red tickets that could get me alcohol.
Backstage, which was really just a storage room, seated on a hand-truck, I rocked nervously as Lachlan methodically bounced a balloon ball off cardboard boxes on a nearby shelf. His demeanor is that of a casually distracted child, completely fascinated by the world around him. I ask him, “Who are some of your favorite comedians who are currently touring?” It seems like he’s not listening because he’s not looking at me, just the purple and white color of the ball he keeps throwing underhand to the cardboard. Then as he responds deliberately and insightfully it occurs to me he is not only listening but completely focused on every detail. “You know Louis C.K. writes a new hour of material every year. Can you imagine that? At the end of every year he scraps all of his material, and starts all over.” I did know that, but I didn’t want to appear like I knew everything, so I sat in silence.
On stage the Vancouver born Lachlan is a cross between Jerry Seinfeld and Daniel Tosh. Featuring the former’s set up and the latter’s voice inflections. “I have never paid for sex. And people get mad at me for that, especially prostitutes I sleep with.”
Lachlan who’s height is reminiscent of the 16th president of the United States always looks as if he’s not thinking about anything and always looks like he’s thinking about something at the same time. After the show was over and he was playing pool I admitted, “I never really know what to do after shows.”
He said, “Well, Louis C.K. says that if you do well you should stay and hang out, but if you bomb leave quickly and go home and write. So I think you can hang out.”
The Pub was packed for a Wednesday night and attendants had to bring out chairs from the back because there wasn’t enough places to sit. Jerry Evans hosted the event, Glen Anderson told some jokes about spring and I told some off color sexual jokes, then Lachlan told some off-color spring-sex jokes.
by Sam Allen, Extreme Alaska